Man...I just figured out something today. I used to be SUCH a complainer. I'd complain about everything. Mostly the way my life was.
Now, however, I rarely do so. Not because there aren't things to complain about. Certainly I could complain about the lack of money, a good job, or even how unfair the world seems to be. But underneathe all those issues, there's something different about me. What's different you ask? Well...I'll tell you. For the past 4 years or so I have been completely and totally happy with myself. Sure, there are things I'd like to change, but they don't get me down. Not only am I happy, but I'm loved. I have never felt so loved (other than by my family who are just awesome). My husband means the world to me. I could go on and on about how much he means to me and how absolutely wonderful he is. Aaron makes me smile when I wake up in the morning, just because I get to see his face. He warms my soul and body every night as we drift off to sleep in each others arms. He makes me laugh every day...no matter what the situation.
For some reason, people thought that my feelings were not true when I started seeing him. I did understand their concern at the time. It was bad timing, and I honestly didn't think I was ready or willing to have a relationship. I even told him as much. However, a couple weeks after we started seeing each other he had moved in. By the end of that month, we knew we'd be together forever. People warned me. It's too soon..too soon to care about someone again. I mean, I literally had arguments with my best friend over this. Here we are, 4.5 years into our relationship (3.5 years of being married) and things couldn't be better.
I hate to think of the life I'd have if I would have heeded their warnings and stopped seeing Aaron. I am sure that I would have let my lifes true love slip through my fingers if I had. I'm glad I followed my heart.
I started this update because I was upset about people always complaining about everything and never doing anything to change the circumstance. It drives me crazy to see this over and over again. In my interaction with friends and even on live journal.
Badger once read my tarot cards for me. Basically the jest of it was to "pick a direction" and go that way. It seems life had me all over the place, trying to please everyone, having my foot into everything and never being happy. So thank you Badger for giving me a little push in the right direction (even if you probably will never read this). You might not know this, but you directly impacted my life in a way I could never explain. You are a great man.
So this is for all those people who stood by me and helped me open my eyes. Thank you for believing in me and allowing me to "grow up". Thank you for allowing me to complain and vent and complain and vent some more. I might not get to see my friends much any more, and talk to them even less than I'd like, but you all are always in my heart.